All posts tagged commitment

not quite optimism: 4-21-12

Published April 21, 2012 by April Fox

and the day needs to rest
bright sun and clouds crept low against my skin
made it breathe in life and joy and
that i kept down
and pushed away
change is the centrifuge keeping me from
breaking into particles that
are unbearable
and small.

i can trust this
i think.

no edict, no scribbled vows or
poetic-written promises
spoken for a judge or holy
shaman-man could make this any more
than what it is:
the promise, implied
and whispered to the darkness
this is where we are
and this is where we’ll stay.

Thinking Before Breakfast

Published April 11, 2012 by April Fox

I dislike the fact that loving one particular person, out of the millions you encounter, can change the way you look at almost everything else in the world. Not that I want to change that, not that I want to undo any of the things that have been done so far, not that I would alter one single bit of our existence, but I feel as if I’m rearranging all the particles of myself to make sense of something that, two years ago, couldn’t make sense because it didn’t exist. How do I explain to myself the believing and un-believing of these things? If science and faith can coexist, I need to find out how. You have your god, and I have this, and acceptance thereof is somehow bittersweet.

This is like particle physics taking over my brain, and going terribly wrong.

I remember when we used to sit up all night talking about things like that-now it’s work schedules and what’s for dinner and I think that means we passed the science test.

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