and the day needs to rest
bright sun and clouds crept low against my skin
made it breathe in life and joy and
that i kept down
and pushed away
change is the centrifuge keeping me from
breaking into particles that
i can trust this
no edict, no scribbled vows or
spoken for a judge or holy
shaman-man could make this any more
than what it is:
the promise, implied
and whispered to the darkness
this is where we are
and this is where we’ll stay.
I dislike the fact that loving one particular person, out of the millions you encounter, can change the way you look at almost everything else in the world. Not that I want to change that, not that I want to undo any of the things that have been done so far, not that I would alter one single bit of our existence, but I feel as if I’m rearranging all the particles of myself to make sense of something that, two years ago, couldn’t make sense because it didn’t exist. How do I explain to myself the believing and un-believing of these things? If science and faith can coexist, I need to find out how. You have your god, and I have this, and acceptance thereof is somehow bittersweet.
This is like particle physics taking over my brain, and going terribly wrong.
I remember when we used to sit up all night talking about things like that-now it’s work schedules and what’s for dinner and I think that means we passed the science test.