In case you missed it, some ugly person sent a hate-filled, ugly anonymous letter to the mother of a child with autism, suggesting that the child be euthanized, among other things. You can read my original post about it here.

I’ve calmed down just a bit since I wrote that original post, and now I’m going to give the wretched letter-writer the benefit of the doubt and assume, for the sake of argument, that she isn’t an inbred idiot with the brains of a jellyfish, but simply someone who has no clue about, well… anything, but autism and how to parent “normal” children, in particular.

So, dear idiot, let me tell you how you SHOULD have dealt with this.

First, buy a dictionary. I’m quite sure this autistic child is not really out hunting whales in your neighborhood. The word you wanted was “wailing,” I think, which is what you’re doing in your letter, only with more passive-aggression and vulgar displays of punctuation than any self-respecting autistic person would ever dream of utilizing. And that’s just the first example that comes to mind when I remember reading your ridiculous letter. 

Now, about how you dealt with your neighbor. I’m going to tell you a little story; I’ll keep it as simple as possible, so you’ll understand. I have neighbors where I live, too. Some of my neighbors live in a house very close to mine.  Sometimes they’re outside kind of late at night, and my kids can hear them through their open windows when they’re trying to sleep. I suppose I could write the neighbors a psychotic anonymous letter and slip it under their door, but I thought I’d try a different, rather unorthodox tactic to deal with the situation: I talked to them. I ran into them outside one day, chatted for a minute, and then said something like, “Hey, so my kids’ rooms are on the side of the house next to yours, and sometimes when you’re all outside late, it keeps them up.” And wonder of wonders, this was the response I got: “I’m sorry! I didn’t realize. If we’re ever too loud, just let us know. Sorry about that.” And then we talked some more about being broke and whether or not it’s going to get cold early this year, and that was the end of it. 

You might try that next time, if the noise is truly bothersome. 

Regarding your “normal” children being scared of the noise:

One-I think you’re full of shit.

Two-If you’re not full of shit, and your kids really are scared, you’re a worse mother than I originally thought, because rather than trying to explain and assuage your children’s fears, you decided instead to suggest that another kid be put to fucking sleep. 

So let’s get this straight: a kid yelling outside is terrifying, but your kids are totally cool with a mother who believes in killing children who are different.

I hope you started their therapy fund early. They’re going to need it.

See, here’s what I do when my kids are afraid of something. I find out what’s causing the fear, and then I explain it to the kids so they’re not scared anymore. If they hear a strange bird outside that scares them, I don’t go all batshit ballistic and start shooting up the trees, I go, “Hey, that’s a bird. Maybe it’s this kind of bird, or that kind of bird. It sounds pretty weird, huh? It’s outside and it’s just a bird. It can’t hurt you.” Crazy, I know, but it works.

I worked at a camp for kids with autism last summer. We were right there with all the “normal” kids. (By the way, there is no such thing as a normal kid. They do not exist. Get over your illusions, okay?) Once in a while, one of the kids in the other group would ask why one of the kids in my group was making a funny noise, or behaving a certain way. I explained things to them openly and honestly: This is the noise he makes when he’s happy, or excited, or upset. You might smile or laugh or clap your hands or scowl; he’s expressing himself this way. It’s just a little different way of being. This is what you should be saying to your children. This is where you should be, rather than typing furiously away on your keyboard, raging at someone who is simply trying to let her child enjoy the outdoors, which he absolutely, without question, deserves to be allowed to do.

I’m just curious, what exactly is wrong with you that makes you think there’s something wrong with teaching your kids things like compassion and understanding? Why do you think it’s more appropriate to advocate killing a child than teaching your own about the differences among us? What in your demented and fucked up psyche would make you want to attack rather than reach out to another mother who you know is facing challenges that may be greater than your own? Seriously, I’m sorry, but I just can’t understand where you were coming from with this letter. What is wrong with you?

If you ever grow the balls to address what you’ve done, look me up. I’d love to talk.