autistic child

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To the Cretin Who Wrote the Ugly Anonymous Letter About the Child With Autism

Published August 19, 2013 by April Fox

In case you missed it, some ugly person sent a hate-filled, ugly anonymous letter to the mother of a child with autism, suggesting that the child be euthanized, among other things. You can read my original post about it here.

I’ve calmed down just a bit since I wrote that original post, and now I’m going to give the wretched letter-writer the benefit of the doubt and assume, for the sake of argument, that she isn’t an inbred idiot with the brains of a jellyfish, but simply someone who has no clue about, well… anything, but autism and how to parent “normal” children, in particular.

So, dear idiot, let me tell you how you SHOULD have dealt with this.

First, buy a dictionary. I’m quite sure this autistic child is not really out hunting whales in your neighborhood. The word you wanted was “wailing,” I think, which is what you’re doing in your letter, only with more passive-aggression and vulgar displays of punctuation than any self-respecting autistic person would ever dream of utilizing. And that’s just the first example that comes to mind when I remember reading your ridiculous letter. 

Now, about how you dealt with your neighbor. I’m going to tell you a little story; I’ll keep it as simple as possible, so you’ll understand. I have neighbors where I live, too. Some of my neighbors live in a house very close to mine.  Sometimes they’re outside kind of late at night, and my kids can hear them through their open windows when they’re trying to sleep. I suppose I could write the neighbors a psychotic anonymous letter and slip it under their door, but I thought I’d try a different, rather unorthodox tactic to deal with the situation: I talked to them. I ran into them outside one day, chatted for a minute, and then said something like, “Hey, so my kids’ rooms are on the side of the house next to yours, and sometimes when you’re all outside late, it keeps them up.” And wonder of wonders, this was the response I got: “I’m sorry! I didn’t realize. If we’re ever too loud, just let us know. Sorry about that.” And then we talked some more about being broke and whether or not it’s going to get cold early this year, and that was the end of it. 

You might try that next time, if the noise is truly bothersome. 

Regarding your “normal” children being scared of the noise:

One-I think you’re full of shit.

Two-If you’re not full of shit, and your kids really are scared, you’re a worse mother than I originally thought, because rather than trying to explain and assuage your children’s fears, you decided instead to suggest that another kid be put to fucking sleep. 

So let’s get this straight: a kid yelling outside is terrifying, but your kids are totally cool with a mother who believes in killing children who are different.

I hope you started their therapy fund early. They’re going to need it.

See, here’s what I do when my kids are afraid of something. I find out what’s causing the fear, and then I explain it to the kids so they’re not scared anymore. If they hear a strange bird outside that scares them, I don’t go all batshit ballistic and start shooting up the trees, I go, “Hey, that’s a bird. Maybe it’s this kind of bird, or that kind of bird. It sounds pretty weird, huh? It’s outside and it’s just a bird. It can’t hurt you.” Crazy, I know, but it works.

I worked at a camp for kids with autism last summer. We were right there with all the “normal” kids. (By the way, there is no such thing as a normal kid. They do not exist. Get over your illusions, okay?) Once in a while, one of the kids in the other group would ask why one of the kids in my group was making a funny noise, or behaving a certain way. I explained things to them openly and honestly: This is the noise he makes when he’s happy, or excited, or upset. You might smile or laugh or clap your hands or scowl; he’s expressing himself this way. It’s just a little different way of being. This is what you should be saying to your children. This is where you should be, rather than typing furiously away on your keyboard, raging at someone who is simply trying to let her child enjoy the outdoors, which he absolutely, without question, deserves to be allowed to do.

I’m just curious, what exactly is wrong with you that makes you think there’s something wrong with teaching your kids things like compassion and understanding? Why do you think it’s more appropriate to advocate killing a child than teaching your own about the differences among us? What in your demented and fucked up psyche would make you want to attack rather than reach out to another mother who you know is facing challenges that may be greater than your own? Seriously, I’m sorry, but I just can’t understand where you were coming from with this letter. What is wrong with you?

If you ever grow the balls to address what you’ve done, look me up. I’d love to talk. 

Autistic Child’s Family Targeted by Vicious Anonymous Letter

Published August 19, 2013 by April Fox

By now, you may have heard about or read the disgusting letter sent to the parents of an autistic child in Newcastle, Ontario.

My first thought, despite generally being a pacifist and too small to do much damage to anyone, was that I’d like five minutes alone with a piece of rebar and the pathetic piece of shit that wrote the letter. My next thought was that I really want to hug the hell out of those parents, because God, what a horrible thing to have to read. I felt physically ill reading it. I can’t imagine reading those things directed at my own child. I can’t imagine the kind of cruel and damaged mind that would make someone say those things, either.

My next thought was that this idiot could use some writing lessons from my autistic kid, not that I’d let him within a hundred yards of such a caustic person.

I have a friend who is raising two beautiful, bright little boys with autism (and one equally beautiful and bright boy without, just to keep things interesting). She posted about this on Facebook earlier, and made an excellent point: “I don’t think raising a child with disabilities is horrific by any means, but raising a child who would pick on one would be.”

YES. Exactly that. Our kids have autism. They have a challenge that makes different parts of their lives more difficult. Socializing, communicating, being heard, simply finding comfort in their environment: these are challenges our kids face every day. Our kids also have a million different gifts, both in spite of and because of their autism. They are quirky, they are insightful, they are charming and wise in ways that the writer of this letter could never in a thousand years hope to be.

Children with autism are human, above all else. The person who wrote this filthy letter is worth no more than the sack of garbage I just took out to the curb. Old orange peels, coffee grounds, wadded up tissues full of snot and other things you don’t want to touch: none are as vile as the kind of person who could say these things about a child.

This blog is not anonymous, unlike the cowardly letter this cretin wrote. I have no problem at all putting my name and face to this statement: those parents, and that child, are worth a million of you, hiding behind your excessive exclamation points and gaudy pink paper. I hate knowing that you’ve reproduced, because it sickens me to think that you will be raising other humans to be just as ignorant, cruel and disgusting as you are. We are not ashamed of our children, but if you had one ounce of self-respect, you’d be incredibly ashamed of yourself right now. You’re pathetic.

*Edit: I just posted a follow-up to this, addressing some of the problems this letter-writer has, and offering some solutions. You can read it here.

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