For the first time in my life,
I feel old.
I am old
but I never felt that way before, never felt
even when I was
Never felt this ache, this deep
this tired fear that’s crept into my bones, my joints my blood
There’s a black-and-white photograph of Tom Waits hung up in the pantry
a beer bottle sitting on the table
blood stains on my sneakers and life should be
I should be ready
to continue, to set myself on fire, but today
I just feel old
and I can only watch things smolder
turn to dust.