To the Cretin Who Wrote the Ugly Anonymous Letter About the Child With Autism

Published August 19, 2013 by April Fox

In case you missed it, some ugly person sent a hate-filled, ugly anonymous letter to the mother of a child with autism, suggesting that the child be euthanized, among other things. You can read my original post about it here.

I’ve calmed down just a bit since I wrote that original post, and now I’m going to give the wretched letter-writer the benefit of the doubt and assume, for the sake of argument, that she isn’t an inbred idiot with the brains of a jellyfish, but simply someone who has no clue about, well… anything, but autism and how to parent “normal” children, in particular.

So, dear idiot, let me tell you how you SHOULD have dealt with this.

First, buy a dictionary. I’m quite sure this autistic child is not really out hunting whales in your neighborhood. The word you wanted was “wailing,” I think, which is what you’re doing in your letter, only with more passive-aggression and vulgar displays of punctuation than any self-respecting autistic person would ever dream of utilizing. And that’s just the first example that comes to mind when I remember reading your ridiculous letter. 

Now, about how you dealt with your neighbor. I’m going to tell you a little story; I’ll keep it as simple as possible, so you’ll understand. I have neighbors where I live, too. Some of my neighbors live in a house very close to mine.  Sometimes they’re outside kind of late at night, and my kids can hear them through their open windows when they’re trying to sleep. I suppose I could write the neighbors a psychotic anonymous letter and slip it under their door, but I thought I’d try a different, rather unorthodox tactic to deal with the situation: I talked to them. I ran into them outside one day, chatted for a minute, and then said something like, “Hey, so my kids’ rooms are on the side of the house next to yours, and sometimes when you’re all outside late, it keeps them up.” And wonder of wonders, this was the response I got: “I’m sorry! I didn’t realize. If we’re ever too loud, just let us know. Sorry about that.” And then we talked some more about being broke and whether or not it’s going to get cold early this year, and that was the end of it. 

You might try that next time, if the noise is truly bothersome. 

Regarding your “normal” children being scared of the noise:

One-I think you’re full of shit.

Two-If you’re not full of shit, and your kids really are scared, you’re a worse mother than I originally thought, because rather than trying to explain and assuage your children’s fears, you decided instead to suggest that another kid be put to fucking sleep. 

So let’s get this straight: a kid yelling outside is terrifying, but your kids are totally cool with a mother who believes in killing children who are different.

I hope you started their therapy fund early. They’re going to need it.

See, here’s what I do when my kids are afraid of something. I find out what’s causing the fear, and then I explain it to the kids so they’re not scared anymore. If they hear a strange bird outside that scares them, I don’t go all batshit ballistic and start shooting up the trees, I go, “Hey, that’s a bird. Maybe it’s this kind of bird, or that kind of bird. It sounds pretty weird, huh? It’s outside and it’s just a bird. It can’t hurt you.” Crazy, I know, but it works.

I worked at a camp for kids with autism last summer. We were right there with all the “normal” kids. (By the way, there is no such thing as a normal kid. They do not exist. Get over your illusions, okay?) Once in a while, one of the kids in the other group would ask why one of the kids in my group was making a funny noise, or behaving a certain way. I explained things to them openly and honestly: This is the noise he makes when he’s happy, or excited, or upset. You might smile or laugh or clap your hands or scowl; he’s expressing himself this way. It’s just a little different way of being. This is what you should be saying to your children. This is where you should be, rather than typing furiously away on your keyboard, raging at someone who is simply trying to let her child enjoy the outdoors, which he absolutely, without question, deserves to be allowed to do.

I’m just curious, what exactly is wrong with you that makes you think there’s something wrong with teaching your kids things like compassion and understanding? Why do you think it’s more appropriate to advocate killing a child than teaching your own about the differences among us? What in your demented and fucked up psyche would make you want to attack rather than reach out to another mother who you know is facing challenges that may be greater than your own? Seriously, I’m sorry, but I just can’t understand where you were coming from with this letter. What is wrong with you?

If you ever grow the balls to address what you’ve done, look me up. I’d love to talk. 

3 comments on “To the Cretin Who Wrote the Ugly Anonymous Letter About the Child With Autism

  • This is an open statement to the author of that letter:
    The statements that you have made are insensitive, hurtful and demonstrate a juvenile mentality. People with Autism, and any other disorder or disability, are still people. Though not always apparent they have feelings, hopes and dreams just like you.
    I understand your frustration with your neighbor’s behavior. Dealing with children with disabilities can be frustrating, and exhausting. I say this from experience; I am raising a son with autism myself. It is difficult but having him in my life has given me a greater sense of humanity that I otherwise would not have. You should open yourself up to acceptance of his diversity; clearly you could benefit from a greater sense of humanity yourself.
    Now please take a moment and try to understand the frustration that this boy experiences every day. Like any child, like your children, he has needs, but he does not have the ability to express them, at least not in a way that most people can understand. The voice inside his head is screaming for someone to help him, understand him, accept him; but when he tries to speak all he can produce is the “noise” that you complain about. He hears it too; it is not the sound he wants to make. If he had the ability to articulate his needs verbally, like your “normal” children he would.
    You are a coward. In this country everyone has the right to speak their minds. If you had taken ownership of your statements I would not hesitate to defend that right, but you have not. You have chosen to hide behind anonymity. If you lack shame for the hurtful things you have said you should at least be ashamed that you are not taking responsibility for them.
    I will not hide my identity; I take full responsibility for anything and everything that I say. My name is Wade Huntley, I live in West Jordan Utah, I operate a website: http://www.avoiceformyson.com where my contact information can be found. You are welcome to contact me yourself if you would like to respond to this letter. Be warned that I may post any communications that I receive from you and that if you reveal your identity to me I will disclose it publicly.
    Finally, I am making an open offer of $100 dollars to anyone that can positively identify you as the author of this letter. It isn’t much but it is all that I can afford. Given the hurtful things that you have said I doubt it will require any reward for someone to reveal who you are. If I am able to confirm your identity I will post it publicly on my site and I will provide it to your local news stations.

    Wade Huntley
    Proud father of an autistic child

    Like

  • Your words have me speechless, love your articulation, your love and passion for your son. I take my hat off to you. Glad you post this. Believe me, she won’t identify herself, but if I find out who is that person called “mother”, I will disclose her to you and no need for the reward. Gathering her information will be my own reward. God bless Wade and your family.

    Like

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