What happens if amendment one passes:
1: Homos run amok, using their incredible mind control powers to hypnotize all the heteros and force them to marry in the same bigoted backwoods churches that sentenced them to hell for putting their wieners on other boys’ wieners. (Lesbians are ok, per most clergy. They got that shit on Cinemax late at night and it’s pretty hot. But still, gay is gay, so they can’t marry-but they can keep doing it on TV.)
2. Homos can’t reproduce, so they must acquire their children from China. All of these Chinese babies turn gay, because homo parents raise homo babies, and vice versa. (Don’t ask me how all the gay people got here in the first place. This isn’t the time or place for logic, folks.) Chinese homo married couples have to adopt more Chinese babies. America turns into China. No more “America Bless God” bumper stickers on SUV’s. Chaos ensues.
Obviously, gay marriage really IS the downfall of America.
Of course, if this was the time and place for logic, what would happen is that gay people would be allowed to get married just like straight people can, and our government wouldn’t look like a bunch of inbred perverts who care more about where your dick spent last night than the fact that more than one in four children in this state are living in poverty. They may be hungry, but at least they won’t grow up and marry a got-dang homo. Priorities, people, right?
“Gay rights” do not exist. They are civil rights, afforded to every citizen. We are not divided into Gay America and Straight America, Gay North Carolina and Straight North Carolina. Stop acting like we are.