he says
i don’t like it when you’re sad
and i am trapped there for a moment
in this thing that we’ve created
blinded, dumb and stupid
rendered helpless by his words and then remembering
that honesty thing
i can only tell him
that i don’t know what to say.

by december it was everything and
half a year had eaten up our lives
regurgitated, given something else instead
it sounds vulgar, doesn’t it? vile and horrendous but i don’t know how
to put it
any other way.

we walked through snow, the wind devouring my skin
burning it, dry ice
i went up in smoke-
my hands stayed warm
wrapped in his
i was alive inside my
frozen solid corpse.

and on a piece of stark technology
we smile out at me
locked inside a two-dimensional reality
it makes my heart catch, try to stop
(the physical one, chambers and arteries and thick, sticky blood
sweet with fear)
next to me, he draws
silly pictures on a touchscreen
i want to be inside
technology.