girl brains

Published August 15, 2011 by April Fox

what we say when we get his voicemail:

hey sweetie, it’s me, just thought i’d call and say hey cause things were a little funky when you left, so yeah, i’ll be up for a while if you want to call me back, but no biggie… i love you very much and i’ll see you soon. hope you’re having fun. k bye, love you.

what we’re thinking:

dude, really? we were griping at each other all weekend and now you’re working late and you’re too busy playing with your dumb friends and your dumb instruments to answer the phone. i was GONNA go to bed but now i’m cranky and don’t feel like sleeping so i’ma stay up and call my sister and tell her what a wiener you are, mister i-don’t-answer-the-phone-when-my-awesome-girlfriend-calls.

what we mean:

i hate that we were pissy with each other and i just wanted to make sure, before i went to bed, that you knew how much i love you. it sucks when you work late and i can’t kick you out of bed with my booty. blah. hurry up and get home, i miss you.

what we’ll say if you call back:

hey, no, i was up, just talking to my sister… you know, kids and stuff… recipes… yup, everything’s cool, have fun and take your time, i’ll see you whenever, no hurry. k love you too, bye sweetie.

what that means:

i wish i was two years old because i miss you and i’d rather have a big old stompy fit than be all cool-girlfriend-ish, but whatever. you called back, so i’ll be sweet when you get home.

what we’ll say if you don’t call back:


what that means:

you’re screwed, dude.

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