i don’t know what to call this.

Published June 26, 2011 by April Fox

the past few days have been more stressful than i’ve seen in a while. i like my quiet little life, and when things come in and invade my space, disrupt my thoughts and remind me of how things used to be, it throws everything off.

i’m excited for new opportunities for the people i love, even though-coming on the heels of the stress i mentioned, especially-the thought of it sent me back into the dark for a little bit. once i settled into the idea, though, i realized something that i hadn’t quite been ready to accept, and a conversation we had earlier-a silly thing, a joke, something i’ll get teased about forever-has me rethinking just about everything today. not the path i’m on, or where i am now-i’ve never been happier. but i’m seeing further than i ever have, and the view is making my head spin a little bit.

i need a break, i think, from extraneous conversation and background noise. i need to wrap myself in silence and let myself figure out what i really think.

i never believed in anything, but i didn’t believe in a lot of things. think about how i put that and you’ll understand. things are changing and i need some time to acclimate to this.

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