there is a reason i lived in silence for so long.
words have a way of traveling to places they don’t need to go, getting beaten up and turned around along the way, so that by the time they reach the end of the path they’re falling into the ears of people who don’t understand, who want to manipulate and change them so they sound like things they think they need to hear.
when i say i’d rather deal alone, it isn’t out of a sense of martyrdom or a feeling that i don’t deserve company along the way. it’s simply easier, and being the slacker that i am, i prefer the easy way most of the time, in almost everything. dealing with one thing alone allows you to focus on that… sharing it, most of the time, simply means you’re adding shit to the pile, and complicates things unnecessarily.
and of course, by saying this, i am screaming into the silence, fucking for virginity, fighting for peace, right?
yes… but then, some things fester and rot if they sit in your head for too long, and abstract vague statements like this can get them out and still leave room for me to lie and say i didn’t mean these words for you.